WHY?
When I see that word, many things come to mind. I always question things, possibly too much.
I ask myself, or am asked why I believe in Jesus
I sometimes ask why I am the way I am
I wonder why certain things happen in life, like Dan passing away.
I don't understand why I try so hard sometimes in relationships.
I think Why am I doing an internship making $0, thinking it may not even help me land a job but rather "experience"
WHY?
I am in a crazy place right now. I have NO clue where my life is going. I joked around today with people that I wanted to stick around San Marcos, because I was almost afraid to get on with my life. Why am I afraid to leave?
I really don't have a reason to be afraid. God will lead me down the right paths if I allow him to. If I was to throw it all away, I am sure I would be lead down other paths. Paths I don't intend to visit.
I keep coming back to those three letters. Why am I afraid to graduate, and get into the real world? I certainly think I could find a job, or opportunity that would be great.
I really want to stick around San Marcos though. Theres so much opportunity here. The mission field is huge, and I think theres still so much more work to be done here missionally I would love to devote time to just missions.
Not only is San Marcos a great opportunity for christian fellowship, but its a political and business hotbed. New businesses are being brough daily into San Marcos, as we create jobs hopefully for the recently graduated. Politics in San Marcos are great on not only a local level with people like Chris Jones and Patrick Rose, but I mean we had Barack Obama,Bill Clinton,Ted Kennedy,Chelsea Clinton all come within a one week period.
San Marcos is great, and the people I have come in contact with over the past few years are people I will never forget my entire life.
Why am I afraid to leave this all behind? Once I leave, will people forget me? Will I take an 8-5 job I don't like? Once I get away from the community of believers I pour myself into will I stumble? Will I go to graduate school? Will I take a job at Texas State in the Athletic Department?
I really just have a lot of questions right now in my life, and not too many answers? WHY?
Why can't God just tell me what I am supposed to do? Wouldn't that be convenient?
I want to know WHY you read this
I want to know WHY you care about me
I want to know WHY we are friends
WHY
I am learning to take life day by day, because Tomorrow is never promised to us. I hope that this will give you not only an insight into my life, but will be a beacon of the knowledge that I am learning daily in this crazy world we live in.
1 comment:
i hadn't read your stuff since you sent out that note on facebook so it was a nice surprise to see how much you've written. i will attempt to answer your three questions, you know just to give you something to think about. why do i read this? i read this because i'm bored, because it lets me take a peek at what you're up to these days, because it gives me something to do besides work, because if your friends don't read your blog well, who will? why do i care about you? better questions is why wouldN'T i care about you. i care about you because when you showed up to chi alpha you were a freshman and i was determined to befriend all the freshmen that year so they wouldn't feel like they weren't included. i care about you because Jesus cares about you and i'm trying to live my life reflecting His love for you. i care about you because you're my friend... notice how this leads to the next question... we are friends because we believe alot of the same things and we have a mutual respect for when we disagree, we are friends because we like other people who think randomness is funny, we're friends because we like having someone to bounce ideas off of, i choose to be your friend because when i'm down you're there, because you'll say the nice things to me that i want to hear and you'll say uhhhh, when you're about to say something that isn't quiet so nice. i'm mostly your friend because to have a friend you have to be a friend and i've always tried to be your friend and you're a good friend back. ... sometimes. richard, the brother i probably would have loved no matter what but i'm so glad i did not get... miss you, marissa
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